Like Shabtai Tzvi

It started off
With unkind voices
And convoluted actions
And I subsequently gravitated toward
Unkind voices
And convoluted actions
Like Shabtai Tzvi
Seeking to extract the Sparks of Light
From within the Darkness
Or more accurately in my case
To cast the magic of Light upon the shadows
Illuminate permeate the Darkness
Excavate the broken child
From within
Cradle her him
Like the mother healer teacher peaceful warrior
That I am
But I never got to have
My own childhood
Receive the cradling nurturance assurance
That I needed
That we all need
Especially as children
Regardless of capacities or proclivities
Because the plant simply needs Light
To grow
And this morning I find
That I am tired
That I need something
I have not been receiving
And I wonder why
So I have been asking
What I need to reconstruct inside
Shift the paradigm of my life
So that I may Live
And receive the greatness
That I give
Trusting that if I am out there
Doing
There must be others like me
With this orientation
This depth this willingness
To go the distance
Do whatever it takes
And I am more concerned now
With dancing in the surf
And sitting quietly on the sand
Than seeking out
And giving my Life Force to
Those who need fixing
©2019 by Loolwa Khazzoom. All rights reserved. No portion of this article may be copied without author’s permission.