You are passive in the extreme
To the point that on some level
I have no idea who you are
And I wonder if you do
Negating yourself
As you negate me
By failing repeatedly
To act
To step outside your comfort zone
n behalf of this relationship
Which you claim
Is important to you
Expecting me
To play the role of
Your auxiliary
Unwilling to do anything
Anything that inconveniences
The solitary and fear-driven life
that you have created
And that you reinforce
Through your choices
While claiming
You want something else
Something better

I feel disregarded disrespected dismissed
Repeatedly
And I cannot help but wonder
If your mother felt like that with your ather
To the point
That she nearly
Self-immolated
A physical symbol
Of her non-existence in your family

Is that what it takes
To get your attention
To inspire you to take action
To notice
That I do not exist
In your considerations
As you make one executive decision after another
At best announcing it to me
As a fait accomplish
But more often than not
Simply saying nothing

Your implicit lack of regard
For your word my feelings this relationship
Is in its passivity
A form of dominance
Emotional violence
Everything revolving around you
As I wait patiently
For you to come through
Which doesn’t happen
Because when I stop initiating
Process therapy heart-felt discussions
When I stop driving this relationship
The car just stops

©2018 by Loolwa Khazzoom. All rights reserved. No portion of this article may be copied without author’s permission.