Two weeks ago, my mom fell and ended up incapacitated. I have since flown down to California to bring her back to Washington to live with me in my house. She needs 24/7 supervision. I feel honored and privileged to support her healing. I also am happy she is here, for many reasons. Side by side with all that, I have been struggling with my own self-care and stability, given the demands of caring for her. Given that I am healing from cancer, and that I have been dealing with a cancer flair recently, I need to be especially careful to keep up my own self-care practices. So I’m throwing out the net and asking for help, from those near and far – both to support my mom and to enable me to take care of myself, and do my own healing, while supporting my mom. There are many ways people can help, so if you are so inclined, please review this list and let me know what calls to you:
- Babysitting – I need someone to hang out with my mom for 2-3 hour blocks, occasionally more, so that I can work for my clients (at home office, but need to be able to focus), get out of the house and exercise, run errands, go to appointments, and so on. This form of support feels most important, because it will enable me to function. For example, I have an integrative oncologist appointment this Thursday, and I’ll have to cancel it if I can’t find someone to hang out with my mom during that time.
- Researching – it’s overwhelming to navigate through the maze of options available (and not available) to my mom and to determine what is available to her now (out-of-pocket), what is available to her now (through Medicare), and what will be available to her once she is registered in the Washington state system (which is a two-month process I have initiated). I would love help making calls and keeping track of information, guiding me on what steps to take and when.
- Organizing – I have gotten under control most of the chaos that came with an emergency landing at my house, but there is more to organize. I could use some help getting things under control – getting my mom’s room optimally set up, grouping all her meds, unpacking her suitcase, etc. I also could use some help getting generally organized – a process I was moving forward on, after my move into this new house, but which got stalled by my mom’s recent medical crisis.
- Shopping – I can use help with picking up supplies as needed. For example, my blender just broke yesterday, and I need a new one for my own self-care and my mom’s care. This is an alternative to babysitting – ie, if you don’t want to babysit, but want to help me be able to run errands, you can do the errands part on my behalf.
- Homemaking – I can use help with preparing nutrient-dense meals for my mom and me, as well as with keeping the house tidy. Among other things, I have to change my mom’s bedding 3 times a day, which amounts to a hell of a lot of laundry!
- Love and care – I would love extra hugs; drum, dance, and singing circles at my house; and encouraging emails and phone calls, to give me the extra TLC (tender loving care) that I need right now.
- Financial help – caring for a loved one from home, in particular, before she is enrolled in the government system – is expensive. So is healing holistically from cancer, because there is no insurance or government support for it. Put the two together, and it’s overwhelming. During this time, I could use some help paying for all the new expenses – flying back and forth to California, buying a wheelchair and walker for my mom, paying for outside caregiving as needed (professional caregivers charge $32-$42/hour), buying the myriad of products supporting adult care, and so on.
If you’d like to get involved in some capacity, please email me here or call/text me if you have my personal number. Thank you!
