I haven’t been able to write for a while. I have felt this massive internal gridlock, bottleneck – so many feelings, so many experiences, stories within stories within stories…where to begin? how to write about it all? Writing on the Alzheimer’s Association forum has opened the channels again. I feel very vulnerable sharing this, but here is a stream of consciousness piece I just wrote about my experience of dementia – three months into inviting my mom to live in my house, and caregiving for her.

Dementia

This is about loving fiercely. About being there for another human being in her time of greatest confusion and weakness. About finding out who we are, who they are, who others are, at the essence, the soul level. About feeling and expressing our feelings about those people, what they do, what they don’t do, in the situation. About finding the quiet amidst the storm, balancing the infinite possibilities of “no limit” thinking with the comfort, ease, and boundaries of recognizing and setting limits. It’s about learning that it’s ok to put myself first. It’s about remembering to dance and play music and find the blessings and opportunities in the most excruciating and challenging of circumstances. […]