I had a nervous breakdown yesterday
Howled with anguish so intense
That I collapsed on the floor
Not that you care
You’ve made that perfectly clear
But I wanted you to know
That I’m not OK
Because I’m sure
You’re telling yourself
That I am
And agreeing with yourself
As you do
But I’m not

And I suppose I want you to know
In the hopes
That you’ll wake up
And change course
And show up
And rise to the occasion
The way I’ve been hoping praying
For well over a year now
That you’ll rise to the occasion
But you haven’t
And I suppose that means
You won’t

So I am left with the fallout
Of your callousness cruelty
And narcissistic indifference to it all
Conveniently oblivious
To the destruction
Left in your wake
Because you call it passivity
As if non-action
Could not be violence

Meanwhile I am devastated crushed
By your cold stone silence
With its utter disregard
Of who we have been to each other
And the world we created together
As if none of it mattered

©2019 by Loolwa Khazzoom. All rights reserved. No portion of this article may be copied without author’s permission.

I turn the world
My world
Upside down
To take care of you
Rescue you
Comfort you
Manage everything in your life
That you can’t handle
But unless something
Directly and adversely impacts you
You will not even take basic steps
To protect me
To not invade me
To give me the space I need
To breathe
And yet
Like the skillfully manipulative rapist
You couch your decimation of my boundaries
In the guise of heroic levels of
Care for me
Justifying your annihilation of my autonomy
At every twist and turn
While leaving me feeling guilty
When I need extra space
To get away from your insanity
And leaving me feeling sad
That your profound disrespect and disregard of my soul
Shroud your big heart and bubbly spirit
Standing as a barrier
Forcing me to choose between
Connecting with you
And feeling peace

©2017 by Loolwa Khazzoom. All rights reserved. No portion of this article may be copied without author’s permission.

I am enough
My life is enough
I have done enough
I am doing enough

I am valuable
My life is valuable
My worth is valuable
My emanation and sharing are valuable

©2017 by Loolwa Khazzoom. All rights reserved. No portion of this article may be copied without author’s permission.