No
I won’t hold your weight anymore
Have the burden
Of your incompetency
I pray
I pray
To allow myself
To drop this
Burlap sack of bricks
Now

©2017 by Loolwa Khazzoom. All rights reserved. No portion of this article may be copied without author’s permission.

The riddle is this
You make poor choices
Fail to properly take care of yourself
And fail to recognize any of it
So I am always picking up the pieces of your damage
Or proactively keeping you from disaster
As you abuse me
Enraged that I am trying to control you
But it’s a setup
Because you are like a child
Entirely unaware of the dangers
Of running across the street
And yet you are not a child
And I did not choose this responsibility
Through birthing you

They say to let people
Make their own choices
Chart their own courses
But what if they are incapacitated
On at least some level
Is it really a choice
And if I see what is going on
And can do something to change course
Is it ethical to stand by
And allow disaster to unfold
But when you live your life
From crisis to crisis
And consume my entire life
In managing yours
Is it ethical to myself
And when those who should step in
Choose not to
At all
Ever
On any level
And I am left stranded alone
And the choice is between
My wellness and your self-destruction
Or my survival and your survival
What do I do
And is it really a choice at all

©2017 by Loolwa Khazzoom. All rights reserved. No portion of this article may be copied without author’s permission.

Like the classic imperialist
You stand on the foundation of my creation
Drink my juice
Enjoy the fruits of my labor
And otherwise benefit from
My care creativity devotion power courage innovation and hard work
While simultaneously
Disrespecting me at the core
Devaluing what I offer
Disregarding discounting everything I have done
Everything you could not have accomplished
A Parasite
You feed off of me
Aggrandizing your sense of self
Assuaging your lack of competency and self-worth
While pointing an accusatory and shaming blaming finger at me
As I struggle to comprehend
What just happened
What just hit me
When my arms heart and smile
Were wide open
Embracing you loving you nurturing you
Sharing with you the magic of my invocation
Like the loving giving Mother
I was once baffled and bewildered
Staggering around in a dizzy state of confusion
Internalizing all your emptiness and darkness
Holding myself responsible and accountable
For your Lack
Thinking there was something wrong with me
Too big too loud too strong too happy too able too radiant with Gd’s Light
But now I understand
I am beautiful I am good I am perfect as I am
And I will no longer
Serve as the container of your darkness
Or Bow to your envy

©2017 by Loolwa Khazzoom. All rights reserved. No portion of this article may be copied without author’s permission.