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Stress Sacrifice and Suffering

I know I sound harsh
Please understand
It’s not that I don’t
Want to be there for you
It’s that I don’t
Want to be the only one
Including you

I don’t want to be your crutch
Your single and solitary Light
In an otherwise engulfing darkness
Which is partially if not mostly
Of your making
The consequence of your choices

You have to find your own way
This I know
And if I keep trying to push you
In the right direction
It’s only going to get ugly

For better or for worse
Only holds true
If you’re taking responsibility
For your life
Not if you’re requiring me
To sacrifice mine

I won’t wallow with you
In your misery
Drag your dead weight behind me
Participate in your romantic notions
Of martyrdom

If all you have to offer
Is stress sacrifice and suffering
And if you expect the same from me
It is time
To go our separate ways

I Don’t Know What Your Problem Is

Funny how, when someone does something wrong, and you don’t stand for it, they talk about “your problem,” when in fact they are the one who created the problem. In this case, I was walking from my car to the supermarket entrance, when a man in a truck quickly turned a corner of the parking lot. I thought about stopping and letting him go by, but I get tired of giving the right of way to impatient drivers, plus then I have to breathe their exhaust. So I decided to just walk across.

At this point, I’m used to drivers who slow down but do not stop, despite 1) the disrespect that demonstrates for the human being in front of the several tons of steel they are maneuvering and 2) the fact that it’s the law to stop for pedestrians. But this guy didn’t even slow down. He just kept driving, as if nobody was crossing in front of him. This with his daughter in the passenger seat. “You can stop,” I said, as he passed me.

I get afraid of saying anything, because the response is typically one not of contrition, but rather, of amplified aggression – a defense of what […]

In Effect

You dismiss
All that I have gone through
To overcome everything I have faced
And get to where I am

In effect you dismiss
Your ability to do the equivalent
In your own life with your own circumstances

In effect you separate me out
As different “special”

And after a lifetime
Of paying careful attention
To exactly how I have gone from there to here
Always aware always keeping track of details
So that I could be very specific
About what works in what situations
And therefore concretely help you
Design a road map
For your own journey

My world is no less than shattered
By your reaction
Your stance
Your staunch devotion
To less-than
To the i and m letters
That make the possible impossible

I love fiercely
I care deeply
I want you to shine
Stand radiant with me
In our respective Gd-given Light

But you erect between us
A wall of your own making
And defend it
With all your might

I am bewildered devastated
The child with the
Bright eyes huge heart open arms
Running toward you
Innocent pure
Eager to give and share
As you slam the door
In my face

Leaving me standing
Very much alone
In a very big world

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