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Wallow

You invite me
To wallow with you
To dive into
Your cesspool
You offer
To suffer on my behalf
Equating martyrdom
With love

Tonight I went to a mermaid gathering – women joining together for spontaneous song and dipping (or swimming, in my case), in the cold Pacific Northwest waters. The gathering started off beautiful, soulful, nourishing, and healing for me.

We shared how we were feeling and sang our names with that feeling – or in my case, sang invoking a different feeling entirely, because I didn’t want my then-current energy state to be absorbed by my name. So I sang my name like a bird and flapped my arms like wings. So did everyone else, when they sang my name back to me. It was pretty awesome.

Then we went to the water, and after wading or swimming, gathered together in a circle, to sing to the water, and just to sing while in the water. I felt so good being in harmony and vocalizing sound with others, in particular, women. I’ve been in such a state of leadership, to the point of exhaustion, and it was lovely to just be part-of.

After that, we headed into the house, to dry off and change clothes. When I emerged from the house, I saw one of the women lighting up something – either a marijuana […]

When My Words Do Not Take Flight

I don’t want to pitch you anymore
I don’t give a fuck about
What you think about what I think
I don’t want to wait for something
Outside myself, which you deem important,
To happen
To validate the relevance and worth
Of my observations and insights
I just want to see to contemplate to share
From my soul from my heart
From the urgency of Truth
But I feel like I’m just screaming into the wind
When my words do not take flight
By touching the masses
Who came to you for information knowledge and guidance
And so I end up frozen paralyzed
Not pitching not writing
But swimming around in my thoughts
Which isolate me
Instead of connect me uplift me
Because I keep them to myself
Unable unwilling to play the game anymore
Effectively (and ironically) afraid of what you might think
Because it’s all so exhausting

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