I was drowning in the sea
Of your combined mental illness
Until I realized
I am a mermaid
And then I swam in the glory of
G-d’s ocean
And surfaced
Hollering in joy
With fresh air gracing my lungs
And sunshine sparkling on my eyes and smile

©2018 by Loolwa Khazzoom. All rights reserved. No portion of this article may be copied without author’s permission.

I’m watching this car wreck
I’m just watching this car wreck unfold
Seeing it coming
Knowing the path to avoid it happening
But also this time knowing
It’s futile
To try and get you to listen
To try and get you to shift gears
Take
A different direction
So I watch it
I just watch it unfold
And while I’m in the car during the crash
I’ve also gotten out before it happens
And am observing from a distance
As the flames unnecessarily consume
Everyone and everything
While I turn to the hills
Lift up my eyes
And set off on a new path

©2018 by Loolwa Khazzoom. All rights reserved. No portion of this article may be copied without author’s permission.

You dismiss
All that I have gone through
To overcome everything I have faced
And get to where I am

In effect you dismiss
Your ability to do the equivalent
In your own life with your own circumstances

In effect you separate me out
As different “special”

And after a lifetime
Of paying careful attention
To exactly how I have gone from there to here
Always aware always keeping track of details
So that I could be very specific
About what works in what situations
And therefore concretely help you
Design a road map
For your own journey

My world is no less than shattered
By your reaction
Your stance
Your staunch devotion
To less-than
To the i and m letters
That make the possible impossible

I love fiercely
I care deeply
I want you to shine
Stand radiant with me
In our respective Gd-given Light

But you erect between us
A wall of your own making
And defend it
With all your might

I am bewildered devastated
The child with the
Bright eyes huge heart open arms
Running toward you
Innocent pure
Eager to give and share
As you slam the door
In my face

Leaving me standing
Very much alone
In a very big world

©2018 by Loolwa Khazzoom. All rights reserved. No portion of this article may be copied without author’s permission.