Reconstructing
A new vision
That does not require
your participation
yet offers
A loving healthy positive channel
Of relationship
Where I can honor you
Celebrate and dance with you
In this beautiful radiant Light
Of essential goodness

©2018 by Loolwa Khazzoom. All rights reserved. No portion of this article may be copied without author’s permission.

You offer me
An olive branch
Laced with poison
Then cry out
That I have rejected your offer
Consummate victim
Perpetually creating situations
Of passive domination
Condemning me
While I am busy
Saving my life
your mother’s life
As you fire cannons
From behind the protective shield of
Conventional armor
Defending your criminal levels of neglect and disruption
In socially approved language and custom

I tried to love you
Repeatedly rise above
Despite it all
but there comes a point
Where your choices
Exhaust my resources
Internally and otherwise

And your self-indulgence
Of power-obsessed and distorted stories
Pose a threat to my very survival

And the loss I face
in letting you go
Is overshadowed
By the loss I face
In reaching out my hand my heart
Just one more time

©2018 by Loolwa Khazzoom. All rights reserved. No portion of this article may be copied without author’s permission.

I see possibility
The vastness of choices and options
That come with a decision
A willingness
To risk
To change
You remain glued to
Your patterns and narratives
Making my choices
That much riskier and harder
Not only between freedom and slavery
But between Life and
Family history identity community
Between belonging
As a vapid shell of who I am
And integrity
Walking through the world
With a purity
That you cannot see understand or value
Aggressively maligning me
On top of all the loss and grief
I have endured
Making everything that much more difficult
As I try to maintain
Some semblance of connection
As those around me point fingers
And cast distorted judgments
Until I recognize accept embrace
My life as a spiritual vagabond
And make peace with
Being on the outskirts

©2018 by Loolwa Khazzoom. All rights reserved. No portion of this article may be copied without author’s permission.