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This Mess

This mess
Just keeps following me
Dragging on and on and on
I try to clean it up
To cut the brambles
With my machete
But new knots and thorns
Spring up constantly

©2017 by Loolwa Khazzoom. All rights reserved. No portion of this article may be copied without author’s permission.

Trust

I trust you
But I’m not sure
If I can trust my trust
Of you
Others who loved me
And who were responsible for my care
Covered shit up
Pretended
Did in the guise of
And that fucked me up
I don’t want to lose
In another game of psychological attrition
And I don’t want to destroy
What is and what is possible between us
Projecting onto you
Onto this relationship
Trauma from the past

©2017 by Loolwa Khazzoom. All rights reserved. No portion of this article may be copied without author’s permission.

 

Fade Away

I’m going to let you let me
Fade away

I understand your dream now
You running on the tracks
Me running beside you
And you waking up
To an empty bed
With a sense of loss

I’m going to let you let me
Fade away

I was never actually beside you
Which is where I wanted to be
I was chasing after you
You had no room for me
On your pinpoint destination
With constricted ideas of
What it means to travel
Always shutting me out
Going solo

I’m going to let you let me
Fade away

Until I was exhausted
Out of breath
Unable to bear the excruciating loneliness
The deep aching emptiness
That I felt with you

And so I stopped running
And then you work up
And noticed
But it was too late

I’m going to let you let me
Fade away

©2018 by Loolwa Khazzoom. All rights reserved. No portion of this article may be copied without author’s permission.