Truth is all I have. All I know to do is tell my story. I have always believed that truth is my greatest ally, my compass. If I follow it, it will take me to extraordinary realms I did not even know exist. I had to ride it, trust it, move with it.
But what happens when the truth not only sets you free but also breaks your heart. When telling your story saves...
My dad recently emailed me, asking me to be “bold” and embrace forgiveness – ie, forgive him in honor of the New Year. This request came despite the fact that in a previous email, I specifically stated that the issue for me is not one of forgiveness, but rather one of feeling safe. I do not feel safe with someone around whom I must completely disappear...
It is just shy of 6 am. I went to bed just over four hours ago. I have woken up once again with my thoughts circling around and around about my father. Maybe if I say it to him this way, that way. What to do what to do.
My heart hurts. Literally. It’s been going on for a few weeks. The pain exacerbates whenever I have these circling thoughts about my dad....
I am shaking. I feel as if I have been energetically raped. I am apparently never safe with anyone in my family. Maybe that’s why I’ve been feeling this low-grade anger at my mom recently. She cannot be trusted to monitor boundaries. I always must be the one to do it, which leaves me constantly on guard.
And that messes me up. It deprives me of a certain...
Both of my parents, each in their own way, have a tendency to make stuff all about them. And it’s twisted, because their distress is often wrapped around their supposed concern for my well-being – which, ironically, itself compromises my well-being.
I end up distracted from taking care of myself, because I’m busy taking care of them. Or I end up even...
My sister has been shoved in my face a whole lot recently. Or should I say my biological sister. Or the sister I once had.
Decades of hurtful and antagonistic behavior on her part has left me wanting nothing to do with her and resentful that people keep calling her my sister and informing me of her latest shenanigans. These reports inevitably trigger me...
Yesterday I drove to an event about 20 miles from where I live. I got caught in rush hour traffic, despite the fact that I waited until 7 pm to leave. I was on the freeway for about 90 minutes. Then I hit a part of the freeway that is nuts:
Multiple lanes suddenly become one. A lane heading to a destination suddenly becomes an exit-only lane — off...
I have not seen my dad for most of 20 years. I saw him a few times by accident – once when he saw me, and I took off, and the rest when he didn’t see me. And then I saw and talked with him last year, when my mom was in the hospital.
My dad is in my brain constantly. I have, in fact, been tormented by the dilemma of my dad, to the point that I have been...
Violence is the difference between being falling down the stairs and being pushed down the stairs. Violence is the difference between having sex and being raped. Violence is the difference between getting an injection of medicine and being stabbed with a needle.
Violence itself is not physical, though the delivery system very well may be. Violence is an...
Loolwa Khazzoom has worked with leading media outlets, including The New York Times, CNN, Rolling Stone, and ABC News. In addition, she has published two books and has lectured at prestigious venues including Barnard Center for Research on Women, the Simon Wiesenthal Center, and Harvard University. Loolwa is passionate about health, music, dance, multiculturalism, and Judaism.
